As I struggle with these days of Lyme, there is this beautiful, fascinating and spirit filled little girl who is my whole world! She reminds me, through the simple and innocent ways of her God given character that I cannot give up on living life to the fullest way possible each day that God blesses me with! Even through my worst days, she is right there, smiling at me, telling me "it's alright mommy, God will take your pain away"! (Even as I type this now, I get that lump in my throat!:)
Every time Viv says encouraging words or displays her tender heart and gentle spirit, I hear that still voice within reminding me that I am doing my job as a mom well and I am the best mom for this little girl! Sometimes it's all I need to hear to get through that day.
Last week I woke up to my antibiotic alarm, that goes off every night at 11:20, I sat up, took my med and I had 10 minutes before I could lay back down. In that time I was asking God, "why Lord?" and as He always does, spoke to my heart and some words from a verse in Ecclesiastes came to my mind "There is a time and a season for everything". I just have to remember to keep looking up and continue to search for that next step I must take. Sometimes I look up, call out to God and hear Him tell me, 'just keep fighting'. I don't have to have the answers to why I am going through what I am, I just need to have faith and trust God has me right in the palm of His hands and will never let me go. I am His child. He knew me before I was formed in my mothers womb. He knows all my struggles the pain, every tear I've shed and the questions I've had and continue to ask. I rest my peace, my joy, my serenity on these very truths about God.
He's carried me through all of my trials and tribulations in my life (even the days I didn't call out to Him for help) I know He's been there with me and even knows my steps before I take them! Why then would I think for one second that He will just stop being my Father in heaven! I would never EVER consider not being Vivian's mom... and I'm human! God has proven Himself to my family and I that He has and will continue to bless us in ways beyond amazement and understanding and will never turn His back on us!
When I wrote that my Lyme diagnosis was the best and worst news in my life, one of the ways I mean that is; I searched and searched, prayed and cried out for answers to my health problems and being told I have Lyme IS the answer I needed and I need to be grateful for that very answer to prayer. I also know, even though the treatment is hell, painful and overwhelming at times, there is a season for everything and my season right now is temporary. This too shall pass, and God uses everything for good, because God IS good and gracious and all loving.
I'm learning that God places people in our lives for a reason. Maybe for me, maybe it's for them, always for a reason. There are some pretty incredible people, particularly women that are in my life right now, and my job as a God loving and God fearing woman is to continue to ask how He can use me and also how to ask for help when I need it. I've also learned that 'I can't, but God can' and uses ways beyond my finite mind to make it happen!
Today, I understand what I learned from MY mom; with God, I am never surprised but always amazed! (thank you to my mom who's taught me so much)
I close my post with a Jimmy Buffett line; Breathe in, Breathe out... move on!
I am grateful that I have a God of my understanding, that I can do just that with and turn everything over to His care and not mine!
Let go and let God... there is something so powerful in those five little words!
From my heart to yours... blessings and shalom!
Every time Viv says encouraging words or displays her tender heart and gentle spirit, I hear that still voice within reminding me that I am doing my job as a mom well and I am the best mom for this little girl! Sometimes it's all I need to hear to get through that day.
Last week I woke up to my antibiotic alarm, that goes off every night at 11:20, I sat up, took my med and I had 10 minutes before I could lay back down. In that time I was asking God, "why Lord?" and as He always does, spoke to my heart and some words from a verse in Ecclesiastes came to my mind "There is a time and a season for everything". I just have to remember to keep looking up and continue to search for that next step I must take. Sometimes I look up, call out to God and hear Him tell me, 'just keep fighting'. I don't have to have the answers to why I am going through what I am, I just need to have faith and trust God has me right in the palm of His hands and will never let me go. I am His child. He knew me before I was formed in my mothers womb. He knows all my struggles the pain, every tear I've shed and the questions I've had and continue to ask. I rest my peace, my joy, my serenity on these very truths about God.
He's carried me through all of my trials and tribulations in my life (even the days I didn't call out to Him for help) I know He's been there with me and even knows my steps before I take them! Why then would I think for one second that He will just stop being my Father in heaven! I would never EVER consider not being Vivian's mom... and I'm human! God has proven Himself to my family and I that He has and will continue to bless us in ways beyond amazement and understanding and will never turn His back on us!
When I wrote that my Lyme diagnosis was the best and worst news in my life, one of the ways I mean that is; I searched and searched, prayed and cried out for answers to my health problems and being told I have Lyme IS the answer I needed and I need to be grateful for that very answer to prayer. I also know, even though the treatment is hell, painful and overwhelming at times, there is a season for everything and my season right now is temporary. This too shall pass, and God uses everything for good, because God IS good and gracious and all loving.
I'm learning that God places people in our lives for a reason. Maybe for me, maybe it's for them, always for a reason. There are some pretty incredible people, particularly women that are in my life right now, and my job as a God loving and God fearing woman is to continue to ask how He can use me and also how to ask for help when I need it. I've also learned that 'I can't, but God can' and uses ways beyond my finite mind to make it happen!
Today, I understand what I learned from MY mom; with God, I am never surprised but always amazed! (thank you to my mom who's taught me so much)
I close my post with a Jimmy Buffett line; Breathe in, Breathe out... move on!
I am grateful that I have a God of my understanding, that I can do just that with and turn everything over to His care and not mine!
Let go and let God... there is something so powerful in those five little words!
From my heart to yours... blessings and shalom!
No comments:
Post a Comment